Questioning

A questioning is merely a way of testing the merit of something.

OK — with that statement out of the way, let me change directions for a moment, and talk about something through which I want to circle back to questioning.

Here’s a polite reminder that "Peace" is not synonymous with "Goodness." This makes some uncomfortable, and is therefore hard for some to accept - but it's true regardless, and needs spoken to. "Peace" can be used to mean "Inaction," "Apathy," and a lack of "Investment" in, or "Connection" to, the world around you in our day and age...and when people with privilege that they have inherited or been given on an unjust, unworked-for basis, speak about "Peace"...it often ends up looking like being comfortable and complacent.

That is a conclusion that is often reached by an unhealthy set of assumptions about what peace is.

This is also honestly part of why some very widely-accepted ways of emphasizing traditional ideas of 'meditation' as a solution to inner turmoil often make me uncomfortable, and sometimes irate, in turn. Well-off people thinking that many, or all, of the problems that they and others experience are internal and (somehow) therefore solvable through meditation, rest, relaxation, practicing passive patience, being kind and holding pseudo-compassion (without really understanding another person's emotions to a degree that allows for potentially being empathetic towards them and their predicaments), or other forms internal work...well-off people thinking that one can 'will away' the difficulties of life through willpower alone...that's a dangerous consequence of privilege coloring one's reality in rose-tinted hues.

That dangerous perception can lead to a perspective that is highly out of alignment with, and shuns the factual basis of, very real physical, emotional, energetic, spiritual, and the rest of reality.

That dangerous perception is the basis for many arguments that we can 'pray' or 'will away' our own very real, very autonomous illnesses without medicinal and/or vital aid, which doesn't happen.

That dangerous perception is sometimes the basis for some climate change denial in a time and place where ocean storms are larger and more common, fueled by more melting and quickly-heated waters from polar ice caps and glaciers around the world (unfortunately, so, too, very real profits-based greed plays a large role...).

And on a more simple, broadly applicable level, that dangerous perception of reality is one of the largest current hurdles we have from doing the -real- work we need to heal and mature as people.

-Quit- approaching reality as if you're in charge of what you experience in it, and as if you're in control of it as you walk through it as you do. That's an extremist notion of how reality works, that pretends that reality is individual, not collective. It -IS- collective, and the physical science of how even inanimate objects interact shows us that. Our machines that tell us when an earthquake occurs tell us one occurs regardless of if anyone feels it, and we can still look at the tracks deep in the Earth to see as much by using proper technology to do so...much like when a tree falls in a forest, the physical sound waves leave behind the evidence of some form of impact regardless of if you, or anyone else, hears it.

Minute or not, Reality impacts reality's parts, and that's inevitable. You are, as a consequence, not in control of anything aside from your own choices - and that's assuming you have functioning physical autonomy over your own body. Assume nothing more about what you control; any other assumptions are ultimately false...and that includes the idea that "Peace" is an innately "Good" thing, when it's ultimately a term that is defined, and re-defined, by context and agreements that people make about what it actually, truly means...agreements that, like with many commonly-used words, are being edited many times over very slightly every year the word is used so much.

Don't assume that a word communicates all you need to know about a concept - nor a name, or a title or any such label.

Question the meaning and merit of the titles of all of your leaders - be they ancient prophets (in any ancient book or books, or other context); people of a congress, court, or presidency (or any other body of government); gurus, guides, aides, and supporters; friends, family, and lovers; and more.

And in turn, of course, in as healthy of a way as one can find, question the concepts that you use to navigate through life that might reign over your life, especially if they have not been questioned prior.  Whether the connect is a definition and/or assumption about what something - like “Peace” - is, or a concept that is harder to name and pin down in a single term in our current day and age, with whatever the current language might be, there’s always something that can - and probably should - be questioned.

A questioning is merely a way of testing the merit of something…but, don’t take my word for it; instead, question it.  Test it.  Try the practice of it out for yourself, and see what the results are.  If my and your results are similar in some key, and very valuable, ways, you’ll find a lot of uncomfortable truths, display their selves…but you will also probably find that questioning helps cultivate a greater appreciation for those things that maintain integrity and consistency in spite of the tests questions bring to something.  This is what I mean by ‘merit’ in that sentence, after all; something that cannot withstand a line of decent questioning probably lacks some merit, lacks a degree of integrity, lacks something of value (or a lot of value), and might need to be looked at further - even under the brain’s most analytical  evaluating microscope and the heart’s strongest, most scrutiny-inducing instinctual sense of knowing, if that is what is called for.

How does one best go about this testing, evaluating, and questioning process, you might wonder…?

Good question!

Might be best to start asking that one more, maybe?

We Are Burning Up Our Borrowed Time

Waiting until tomorrow to take actions that work towards change the world's cultures from...

• selfish;
• individualist;
• 'independence'-valuing;
• wealth-hoarding

...into...

• Community centered;
• Giving-driven;
• Sacrifice-loving;
• Purpose-beyond-self centered

...is synonymous with denying the plant we live off of water, when we expect it to soon bear crop and fruit, in the drought that will surely sap its life to death.

Stop delaying and pretending that it's out of 'rational' - let alone 'justified' - fear that we're waiting to do decent things that will help others more than they will take energy from our own selves. Act, and see that the 'advice' your mind sends you about needing to care for yourself "first and foremost, always" is actually, sometimes, counter to your self-enrichment.

Sure, we fear rejection, abuse, neglect; that makes sense. Yet, given some basic awareness, it does -not- make sense to run away every time that we feel fear.

Sometimes, the ethical, right, and even the most sensible and logical thing to do is to look what we fear in the face, and stand before it, bearing our spear of courage - even when that means doing so in a way that leaves us emotionally vulnerable.

It's far from easy work...it's not often very comfortable...but 'like hell,' it sure is necessary.

If raging hurricanes, infernal fires, persistent droughts, famine, plagues, desertification, incessantly growing poverty (outdated definitions of the word be damned), melting ice caps, and trash-and-sludge-filled oceans aren't enough to help you see that we need to help each other sometimes, in spite of our 'survival instinct' even screaming for us not to do the right thing...chances are your 'survival instinct' is only interested in a fleeting sense of -self- preservation...perhaps at the expense of others.

Kill that part of selfishness. It deserves no place in the world we are moving rapidly into, and is merely a mask for letting our people, our loved ones, and our world quietly, painfully, miserably die.

Choose love, of all things - not love of one at the expense of all else. How much clearer can this choice be?

How much clearer does it need to be before a great many of you - of us all - make it, consistently, and stop looking back with timidity, uncertainty, and instead press on with determination, out of understanding the necessity of this continual decision. .. ...?

We don't have forever to make a better world, friends. We're already burning up our borrowed time, most of it without decent results.

On the Nature of Ignorance

Ignorance is not always an innately foul thing; to be born ignorant of the world and what it holds is an aspect of being human, and of being born into life. This allows us to be surprised - both in fear, and also, in turn, in delight.

That said, what makes ignorance foul is when one chooses to covet it, and mistakes it for a form of safety, security, or other kind of reassuring comfort - thereby paving the way to protect it and cling to it, at the expense of experiencing reality, and its very natural and most innate diversity.

Ignorance should never be a source of comfort in-and-of itself; to find comfort in not knowing what is wrong in the world, or in being unaware of its dangers, is to welcome them to fester, foster their own growth, and to ironically covet potential fatality.

To embrace ignorance on the basis of the fear that one initially feels when confronting the unknown indicative of ignorance's very most basic definition is a way of empowering that same fear notably more still; only knowledge - truth - and also coming to terms with what it is, and how we can feel about such truth, can overcome such a fearsome fear.

By challenging and seeking out, discovering and exploring new knowledge, we challenge ignorance, and challenge fear...

...conversely, by coveting ignorance, and ignoring and deliberately hiding from the realities of existence around us, we give into and feed our fears until they become deeply toxic.

This is one of the most fundamental problems we, as humanity, continue to encounter.

To Be Alive

Some time ago, in years not-that-long passed, and also very, very recently, I have seen a response to the world's problems that has, on some level, unsettled something within me, deeply - a response that seems noble, and yet, upon closer inspection and examination, bears the same type of problematic marks and signs of dangerous weakness that the world's greatest and most grim current travesties bear.  I want to talk about this proposed response, and denounce it, and illustrate, and articulate, why I feel compelled to denounce it...before explaining what I think must generally happen instead  That is the reason for this writing.

Vulnerability is a Strength

I once heard it said that "Vulnerability is a strength."

This almost was a 'hard pill to swallow' in a way, even though the process of doing so at the time was done with resolve and in a very brief time.  Truly, it took only a moment.

However, I almost gave the thought in me pause and serious, long, and very likely dangerous consideration.  That thought was really a logical idea, a potential action that looked like a survival tactic.  "Toss your vulnerability - your openness, your willingness to be authentic and emotional, your willingness to be real and genuine, and caring and compassionate and empathetic towards others - aside.  It has led you to a point where you have nothing positive to show for it, and left you wounded by others.  It is garbage."

I almost did exactly that, because, at the time, accepting vulnerability as a strength and believing it to be valuable meant that I had to accept the fact that my own vulnerability was also a strength in turn.

This was tremendously easier to think about on a conceptual level instead of an authentic, real, emotional one, and I know the reasons for this.  To accept my own vulnerability as a strength, after all, meant to acknowledge that something so strong and powerful and potentially empowering was also a danger to me.

And it had been.

It had been an opening for me through which I was emotionally taken advantage of.  It had been approached and treated as a weakness through which another person manipulated, abused, and thoroughly betrayed my trust.  And, to be honest, it was a weakness, one through which I was left deeply mentally and emotionally wounded - and still am, many numerous months after the fact (depending on when I'm measuring up from leading to the present).

The process of healing, when a "friend" treated me like I was disposable, repeatedly, many and many times over, is still not done on my end.

This is not surprising at all to me, even after this much time, given that it took months to realize how I was being used as I was, and actually accept it.  Warning signs were ludicrously present, and abundant, almost every day for that long period of time.  Acknowledgement, and a willingness to be honest with myself about the reasons and the origins for the pains that I felt, however, were not abundant at all.  Instead of addressing the problem thoroughly and sticking to what my gut, my mind, my heart, and my instinctual self all agreed on - that the situation I remained in was dangerous to my well-being and health (and it was), especially with me being a highly emotionally sensitive and naturally compassionate, empathetic, friendly person - I continued to trust that being true to my own ability to be patient, forgiving, open minded, and kind hearted would yield a better friendship with the person I thought of as a friend.  I wish I had fully realized, and more importantly, accepted, that that person was abusing my trust and contributing to emotionally and mentally damaging beliefs I had about myself, while still pretending to value my friendship.  And, while that person may not fully, or even remotely realize the damage that they have done, I cannot find it in myself to forgive them so far.

I once heard it said that vulnerability is a strength...and I just about rejected that.  In a moment where I could have easily broken down at that claim, broken down at the very idea that something that helped lead me into a time of such damning emotional turmoil and distress, of heightened depression and anxiety spikes, and of having to sometimes combat what bordered on actively-harmful-to-myself thoughts.

Now, had I not heard this statement at the time that I had, from the source that I did, I might not have believed it so easily, so readily, and so deeply as I did, and still do.

And, I indeed still do, and I will continue to as deeply and with as much conviction as I can, until I am proven wrong.

Except I know I won't be, because to be vulnerable is to be authentic - and to be authentic is to align one's self with reality, to embrace it, and to not hide from it.  And, in turn, to embrace and welcome and accept, warmly, reality for what it is - and to honor it by doing so - is to empower one's own self through that continued action of practicing, being, and embracing authenticity.

...And, while that person may not fully, or even remotely realize the damage that they have done, I cannot find it in myself to forgive them so far - and I likely won't, as I don't believe forgiveness to be a form of alleviating myself of a grudge so much as I see it as a being vulnerable.  And, if my vulnerability is a strength, in that it allows me to connect with others, potentially strengthen relationships with them, and, ultimately, get to know them well as people - as living, breathing, experiencing, emotionally-gifted human beings - then it is also, in turn, a gift to trust someone with my vulnerable, full authentic, barrier-free and un-shielded self.

It is a gift - just as showing someone empathy, compassion, kindness, or love is a gift...and while just about all of us deserve these things, there are cases in which we can, and sometimes many of us do, act in ways that damage our chances of being treated kindly.  Whether or not that damage has been done is not a claim for anyone who deliberately cut or otherwise dealt the wound to be able to deny; instead, it is the place of the wounded - the hurt, the mistreated, the abused, the trampled on, the discarded - to be clear and direct in saying, loud, proud, and with absolute resolve one of two things...either:

"I still trust you, and as such, you may enjoy me in my authenticity to the degree that I see fit to share it.  Though you have hurt me, I am still willing to be vulnerable around you - and thereby share who I am without barriers with you - because I believe in your morality, your ethics as a person, and I believe that the good outweighs the bad in our interactions, our shared experiences.

"I do not trust you, and you are not welcome to enjoy me in my authenticity - at all.  You have betrayed my trust, and until you change on an ethical, moral level, and show me that you can be trusted, my authentic self is a luxury that I will not provide for you again."

Both of these responses are valid, and important, and sacred; each has its place, its purpose, and its circumstances in which it is a better response.  Sad though it may be, people do not innately do good, or bad - or remain that way, good or bad - with complete consistency, regardless of their internal nature.

Reality is messy, and that deserves serious acknowledgement and long term, in depth consideration by us all.

So, too, it should not be surprising, then, that a weakness like vulnerability is just as much a strength, if not more of a strength than a weakness, at its most fundamental, most basic core...and so too, in turn, it is that such a gift as vulnerability can leave the giver in a really, truly wounded state.

Except, let's be a little more honest, and a little more direct: vulnerability may be an opening, but it isn't truly a weakness; it may create the potential for someone to hurt you, but that doesn't mean you have to be wounded.  After all, plenty of people are able to get to know one another, and to appreciate one another for being vulnerable - and similarly, courageous in their being vulnerable, and open-hearted, and honest about their own self, their feelings, their perceptions, their experiences, and so on.  If anything, this is how many relationships of many kinds, including some of the most valuable, are built, strengthened, empowered, and enriched.

So, it is important, if not healthy, and sometimes necessary, to acknowledge when someone's actions continually betray their intentions and reveal them to be deliberately negative, corrosive, manipulative, or abusive.  And it is probably even more necessary for a person who has had their own trust misused to acknowledge this than it is for others to do the same - though, others supporting this realization in a person who has been dealt a wound who might refuse to acknowledge as much is not a bad thing, either.  I say this, as a person speaking from my own personal experiences on the topic.

And yet, in spite of all that is tied to that experience - the pain, the wounds, the emotional turmoil and tumult, the hard process that has been healing so far, and the regaining of trust in myself in a way that has led back to normal building of relationships with other people - vulnerability remains a strength, a form of authenticity, and openness...and a very, truly powerful gift.

And as such, I will continue to cherish it every time I receive it - and, out of respect for others who are so also, I will continue to be vulnerable.